Don’s Ego

02/06/2010

Random, Part 12: Snuggie

Filed under: Random — Tags: — donkowalewski @ 5:28 pm

My household now owns a Snuggie. It’s pink. So I won’t be showing up at any outdoor sporting events in it, but I was pretty stoked to finally have one. Though I laughed at the commercials, from the first time I saw a Snuggie I knew it was awesome and I wanted it. But now that I have one, I’m not so impressed.

The most disappointing thing about it is that it falls off if you walk around. I walked 30 steps from my family room to my kitchen and it fell off me as if it was an untied hospital gown. And, it’s not very warm as far as blankets or afghans go.

I envy the guy that invented it (and no, I’m not going to look it up). I’ll bet for years he drove everyone crazy explaining how we was inventing a “blanket with sleeves” because “ya know how when you are all cozy under a blanket and you need to change the channel or answer the phone, you can’t get your hands free?” And his family and friends all were like, “um, well …I just uncover myself and work the remote. It’s not that big a de’” …”No, no, no,” he protested. “It’s a pain in the rear-end, man. A blanket with sleeves, man. Everyone’s going to want one.”  And whenever he left the room …I’ll bet they all howled.

Well, he now has the last laugh and he’s made a mint. I need a horrible idea that I can pursue with reckless abandon. But I’m comin’ up blank.

The other purpose of this blog entry (well, the main purpose) is to see if Kodak Easy Share Gallery now has pictures as permalinks that can be linked into blogs. Short answer …they do. And Flickr isn’t doing that for me anymore. Bummer.

02/05/2010

Inspiration, Part 4: Look at What I Didn’t Do Last Year

Filed under: Inspiration — Tags: , — donkowalewski @ 10:18 pm

Last year I read a really cool article about being a writer, and a guy bought all these composition books and filled them day after day, month after month, with ideas and pictures and idea-starters. And from that, he launched a super successful writing career. So I thought, “gee, I’m going to do that, too.” And I went right out to Office Depot and, lucky me, they were selling these composition books for, like, .50 cents each. I liked everything about this idea …(a) I’d  have some place to write lots of stuff. I could graduate from my spiral bound notebooks which kinda fall apart, and are currently full of writing-class  homework, stand-up bits, jokes, clippings from newspapers …really, all sorts of random stuff. So random in fact, I may burn them one day to avoid post mortem embarrassment when someone opens them up someday (like my kids), reads the, and then they all will have to come to grips that their old man was borderline insane.

What I’m saying is, I need to really make sure my journals and diaries reflect the person I want to be remembered as, and not the random, bizarre person I might actually be.

Oh, the other reasons …(b) writing in composition books has a very cool “Dead Poets Society” type vibe that made the idea seem pretty cool. If I could write only in leather bound journals using an ink quill and feather quill pen, I would. Trust me.  It’s like …well …imagine keeping a diary on a series of sheets of loose leaf paper all stapled together. That would suck and the Feng Shui would be all wrong. Put those papers in a three ring binder. Better. But use a composition book, and keep careful track of margins and style and …well …now you’ve got something historians can marvel over.

And the last part …(c) having a stack of composition books all full of prose and quotes and stories, full from cover to cover, stacked 20, 30 or 50 high – that’s just damn impressive.  “Oh, hey, Don …what are those.”  “Oh, those? Those are just my random thoughts and observations and some unfinished stories I’ve been writing over the past 4o years.” (Note: I’m having this imaginary conversation when I’m in my 60s, and I’m also an accomplished author and columnist at that point. Otherwise, my journals are no better than the ramblings of the Unibomber).

So, there you have it. One year later …another new year resolution unfulfilled. Guess how many pages I’ve filled in the four pictured composition books? Guess.  Nope, lower.  Lower still.  Yep. 12 hole pages.

What will it take me to follow through and fill those?

01/18/2010

Passions, Part 6 – 2,010 Miles

Filed under: Accomplishments — Tags: — donkowalewski @ 11:26 pm

Something I’ve been Tweeting and Facebooking about is my new year resolution of moving  my body 2,010 miles, whether that be running, swimming, or biking. It’s ambitious (probably overly ambitious). Doing the math, it works out to 40 miles per week, seeing as I didn’t start it until the 3rd week of 2010.

Hopefully I don’t have to explain the significance of 2,010 miles.

Here’s the reason I did this. Most Facebook status messages and most resolutions I see or hear are all about “quitting” something or “losing weight”. And at the risk of sounding like I’ve read The Secret too many times (I read it once, and I hated it for the sham it is), it seems when you resolve to do a negative thing, you’ll struggle. And, I haven’t thought about how a person who wishes they didn’t need cigarettes every day should word their resolutions. Maybe they need to stick with the “quit” verbiage.

But …with regards to those excess pounds, that cholesterol, your resting heart rate, think about what you can do and will do to make a difference. Specifically, one status message said, “2010 will finally be the year I lose these 30 extra pounds.” And I got to thinking, that was my goal too. But rather I focused on the fun of running, the challenge of training for a triathlon, signing up for trail-running events, and you know what happened?  I had tons of fun, did more outdoor and exercise type things than I have since I was a kid, and I lost weight and inches everywhere.

So let that be your mantra if you want 2010 to be different. Vow to walk or run 10 miles a week. Or eat 1 carrot, 1 green pepper, and 1 cucumber every day, and one apple (“an apple a day…”). It’s safe to say, you do that, you’ll spend so much time eating healthy things, I’ll betcha your cravings for junk food will diminish at least a little bit (I’m no Dr. Oz, I’m just guessing). Resolve to drink 80 ounces of water every day. If you buy 7 cucumbers, green peppers, and carrots every week, you’re budget for Doritos and Oreos is going to be cut by quite a bit.

The other good thing is this – you can totally track it. As I’m doing with my 2,010 miles. I invented this stupid idea 8 days ago and I’ve knocked out 14 miles, already.

Don’t lose, quit, or suffer. But set a goal and achieve it. The rest of your goals will come along for the ride.

12/09/2009

Inspiration, Part 3: I’m on the Runway

Filed under: Inspiration, Uncategorized — Tags: — donkowalewski @ 2:35 pm

I thought it was going to be a slow day around blog headquarters, and then someone hit me with this song and video. “Got me feelin’ so hot …models on top! …you ain’t this hot!”

I laugh, but I’m sure about six months from now I’ll see these cats on MTV Video Music Awards, and they’ll be cleaned up, manufactured, processed and over-produced and I’ll be downloading this single.

One thing I know, I’ll be singing the stupid chorus for the rest of the day.

It seems the group is known as Ameling, but I really can’t tell from their YouTube page. Either way …with talent like this, who needs marketing or information. Do the sun and the moon need to market themselves? Hellz no, they don’t. You just look up, and there they are. And people stop and stare. Same thing’ll happen to Ameling …or WeMakeTV …or whoever these geniuses are.

The rest of my day pales in comparison. Tonight is a big advertising industry shindig and I’ll be shaking hands, telling funny stories, laughing at other people’s funny stories, and promising multiple people that we should “get together soon” and “have lunch” or something. But it’s OK …a hundred people will say the same thing to me, and I know what it means …”see you next year at this holiday party.”

There’s a romance and charm to big shiny holiday parties with hundreds and hundreds of industry peers – doesn’t matter what industry you’re in. And the routine usually starts with (a) you tell everyone you don’t want to go, even though you have to – but more than that, you want to, but it’s not cool to say that. (b) On the day of, you say you’re going, but you aren’t staying late. (c) You leave work early – which is odd, because you didn’t want to go in the first place, and now you’re meeting up with people even earlier. Then (d) you get there and you swear you’ll just say ‘hi’ to a couple of key people, and then you’ll hit the door. And finally (e)  you fumble with the keys to your house at 1am, open the fridge and eat anything salty you can find, guzzle some water, and fall asleep on your couch so as not to wake the rest of the family.

Alot happens between (d) and (e), but this is a family blog …children may be reading.  And then of course there’s (f) …when you wake up the next morning having slept on a couch, in a suit, and having only gotten 4 or 5 hours of sleep but, again …family blog.

To you and yours and all your holiday parties …be safe, have fun, and see you next year.

12/08/2009

Random, Part 11: Shelf Indulgence with Chuck Klosterman | Borders Media

Filed under: Random — Tags: , — donkowalewski @ 10:32 am

Shelf Indulgence with Chuck Klosterman | Borders Media.

I recently became obsessed with Chuck Klosterman. I love pop-culture, and he writes about pop-culture, and he writes about it in a random, free-flowing, train-of-thought type of way, which is exactly how I like to consume text, music, movies, or TV – anything really.

Klosterman will be telling a story about how Tommy Lee used to drink alot, and why rock stars drink alot, but then he’ll tangent into a story about himself, where he gets drunk alone in his apartment. He’ll talk about drinking alone and how, at some earlier point in his career, he played the role of a drunk, creating a character in himself who would write his columns for some college newspaper.

Then he’ll jump back to Tommy Lee and glam, hair, heavy, and speed metal and use Tommy Lee, his own story, and the liner notes in Megadeth’s third CD to then make a point. Or he won’t make a point at all. And for me? That’s totally OK. Because there was a good chance, while reading whatever he wrote, I was daydreaming about Pamela Anderson, college hockey, and my cousin’s old apartment in Cedar Village up at Michigan State.

I had some great times in my cousins apartment.

I also really like Chuck Klosterman’s books. I want to meet him, and because we’re both more comfortable writing, we’ll awkwardly talk about his books, which will be a new conversation for me, but an old – very old, like he’s had it 10,000 times – conversation for him.

Which, then, makes Chuck exactly like any rock star who ever sat at a table at a backstage meet and greet, which Chuck talks about in Fargo Rock City (I just finished reading it a second time through, and might very well read it a third time), and some sort of circle-of-life will be complete.

I’ll bet that’s odd. Rock stars and movie stars have back-stages and dressing rooms where fans can wait to get autographs. And being a rock star or movie star makes these people recognizable, so they have to have a buffer. But an accomplished author and columnist has no back-stage or dressing room. The more accomplished authors might get a table at a bookstore, or might get Oprah’s couch, but mostly I think their fans need to first recognize them, and then simply approach them. And I think that must be odd – to be treated and recognized a bit like a rock star, while at the same time not given much more real estate at a bookstore than, say, the local Girl Scout troop selling cookies in February.

And I wonder if anyone has ever asked Chuck Klosterman if they could get 3 boxes of Tag-A-Longs and some Thin Mints. Probably not, but I’ll bet, at one point in time, someone asked him where the Historical Fiction section was located and I’m guessing, if he had time, he politely showed them.

And, finally, watch the video linked at the top of this entry.

12/03/2009

Random, Part 10 – Take a Break

Filed under: Uncategorized — donkowalewski @ 4:50 pm

Have  you ever felt like this dude? Maybe you just decided, f’ everyone …I’m sitting this one out. I don’t care who needs me or what I should do …I ain’t doin’ it.

Too damn funny.

For those who care, yesterday began my 41-Days of Hol-Idol-Day Cheer or something …I forget what I called it. But I’m going to try and write something original pertaining to American Idol starting now all the way up until the January 12th season premiere. Check out my first offering at spunkybean – you know the address and ’secret knock’ by now, I’m sure.

Anyway, take a break and read my stuff, won’t you?

11/30/2009

Dedication, Part 1: A New Post Every Day

Filed under: Dedication — Tags: , , , — donkowalewski @ 5:08 pm

How many times have I suggested I should post every day? The answer may surprise you.

15 times. But I ‘think’ about that fact much more often. And I really should. I do it for spunkybean (well, my faithful, talented writing-staff actually makes sure there’s fresh content every day).

I’m bringing this up because I just read  this …and I’ve gotta get my act together.

Happy post-Thanksgiving. This is the first “Dedication” entry which might be the entries you skip for a while. These entries are designed for nothing else than to fill the page.

My scalp itches. I’m not using ANY product in my hair, going on two weeks. Coincidence? I hate to think that my scalp is conditioned to respond only to gel or molding mud, and without it, my body’s natural oils wreak havoc. But I can tell you …right now …it’s taking all my will power to refrain from scratching.

As I have Facebook’d and Tweeted …I went to see Star Wars In-Concert over the weekend with my 5-year-old. To say it was “spectacular” is an understatement. As a pedestrian-fan of the franchise, I’m mostly “geeking-out” over Star Wars (30-years after it burst onto the pop-culture landscape ) because my son couldn’t be more into it. In fact, I recently saw Clone Wars (released in theaters a couple years ago) and I know it sucked and I know why grown-up geeks probably hate that movie …but ya know what? My five-year-old LOVED it, therefore, so did I.

There you have it. A blog entry. Also on my agenda this evening …a new article for spunkybean (possibly more than one) as I attempt to kick-off my “25-Days of Idolmas” …or “Idol Advent” or something cleverly named to link American Idol with Christmas, and use that spunkybean thing as an outlet, where I’ll write a new article every day leading up to the January 12th season premier of American Idol. And I should write a Mel Robbins entry. And a Fit Kids Connection entry.

When did writing become so time consuming? And when did I become a Lady Ga Ga fan? Not really a fan …but I find it impossible not to like her songs. Argh!

11/16/2009

Accomplishments, Part 1: A New Category for New Adventures

Hi, loyal readers (all three of you). I told you, whenst next I blogged something, I’d be able to brag about a few things. Trouble was, my cleverly titled headings (‘Random’, ‘Pithy’, and ‘Passions’) didn’t really capture the spirit of this entry.

Do you ever have one of those weeks or weekends where it feels like the stars align and things (everything) go great? Mine was such a weekend.

Friday, I wrote. Saturday, I woke up and the leaf raking I did the previous weekend still had my lawn cleared of leaves. I made pancakes for the family. The carpenter who was going to hang solid-wood, six-panel doors on our bedrooms arrived on time to finish the job. Two guys hired to knock down 6 layers of bricks on our chimney and rebuild it also arrived on time. They all did great work. The six-and-under girls soccer team I coach scored 2 goals in a 2-0 victory (matching our entire season-long scoring – yes, we only scored two goals total in the other 7 games …I played fullback (defense) in my playing days …cut me some slack …we only allowed a total of 9 goals in those 7 games …we’re working on it …offense wins games …defense wins championship …you’ve heard about that, right?). With Saturdays victory, we ended the season 1-4-3 (we played to more than one 0-0 tie …because we’re a defensive team, as I mentioned). To end the season on this note (a flood gate of goals – all two of them) has me and all the parents quite optimistic for the springtime. Not only did we actually score two goals, I dare say we could have had 10 more. But these six year olds are awfully polite, and when they see a wide open net, they graciously allow the goalie to get into position to make a save. And when they dribble past someone, they sportingly allow the defenders time to get back into position and and try to stop us again.

It’s really quite nice, and as a parent you are proud to see how nice and thoughtful your daughter is. But as a coach, it’s a bit maddening.

So, my six-year-olds won their soccer game, and then I was home in time to sweat through an improbable victory by my Michigan State Spartan football team. And from there, it was onto a dinner party with friends – friends with children, which means all the kids run around and break stuff and scream and fight amongst themselves, and we parents can actually talk about something other than who pulled who’s hair, who started what, and further explantions as to how a Lego ended up in both nostrils.

Did I mention those doors? Or old doors never closed. Now they do. And our old master bedroom door never stayed open. Now it does. I should make some connection to new doors, opening new doors, and use them as a metaphor to life and how I’m opening new doors and “walking through them” and stuff like that. Or how “building” and “rebuilding” my chimney was akin to my rebuilding my writing hobby and my blog …but, I hired those things out, so it’s not really like I did them. Watching someone else install new bedroom doors and fix your chimney would be the same as if I just read some blogs and bought a book.

But, I really could’ve used the metaphor, except for that big flaw in the arguement I just pointed out.

I mentioned, I blogged. Then I met with my new client, Fit Kids Connection, and I got them all rolling with Facebook, Twitter, and their blog. You should check it out. And more than that, you should order something and tell ‘em “Don sent me.”

And if I could’ve logged into the Mel Robbins blog, I would’ve also pointed you to a hilarious (sarcasm) article I was going to write about epidemic OxyContin addiction levels in the greater Boston area, and how people can get help, or help someone they love who’s found themselves in the grips of addiction. Don’t worry …I’ll let you know when I write that jaunty little entry. Until then …keep hanging doors, building chimneys, and scoring goals.

11/13/2009

Pithy, Part 3: Writing the Ship

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , — donkowalewski @ 11:01 pm

It’s Friday. It’s November 13th – Friday the 13th (to be exact). The kids are in bed. The wife’s Book Club is at my house. I’m around the corner in a coffee shop.  My laptop is open and I’m the twelfth person here doing that very same thing (I cannot actually confirm that anyone else is here while a Book Club takes place in their living rooms at home, but they are here, drinking coffee, and plugging away on their laptops). There’s a group of teens hanging out, together, but all laptopping it. There’s a couple sitting at a table, together, both laptopping. All the other laptoppers are singles. And none of them picked my awesome spot near a power outlet.

Why there isn’t a power outlet by the two chairs adjacent to the fireplace, I’ll never know? That’s where I want to be.

I’m here because I’m woefully behind in my writing. Have I bitten off more than I can chew? I have a list of things to write …this blog entry (almost done). A blog entry for a new client. I’m embarrassingly behind in my Mel Robbins blogging, and I hardly write anything new (or good) for spunkybean. It’s 9:30 EST and I’m going to wrap this up, quick, and hope to get to those other 4 things.

Funny thing about a hobby that you turn into a passion, and then you one day start to daydream could actually turn into a career …the minute you involve other people, those people start caring about what you do and depending on you to do those things. I’ll admit, I spent a good portion of my life teaching myself to ignore the guilt of dropping-the-ball, failing to follow-through, inventing excuses, and completely wimping out and ending something for, really, no good reason.

This is some cheery stuff, eh? The point is, I’m looking to shed those bad habits and power through all of this. Like Nike said – just do it. So, here goes. When next I blog at you, I should have a buncha wonderful links to all sorts of things I’ve written, and for the half-dozen of you who hang on my every word, you’ll be happy.

Speaking of happy (sarcasm), I debuted the first chapter of my theoretical novel to my writing club and …ahem …let’s just say I have a little more empathy for what The Elephant Man must’ve gone through. My story followed a beautiful short story about an old Polish woman, the daughter of immigrants, who learned many years ago she loved to write letters. The story was her making sure that, upon her death, all the letters she’d written for her children and grandchildren be delivered as directed. She didn’t have much, but she hoped her thoughts and stories would live on through her letters and her lineage. It was very, very good. Another offering was by a woman who survived breast cancer and found Jesus. The story told of an old woman who failed her entire life to say what was on her mind and how she would use every remaining breath to right that shortcoming, spread the word of Jesus, and make sure everyone she loved could know exactly how much she loved them – she found her voice and she was going to sing from the mountaintops. Another story was about 5 mechanics from World War II.

Mine was a profanity filled first chapter featuring two kids talking like adults about their crappy future-lives, and a talking tree. Which stinks, because the rest of my novel, in theory, is much more focused and will hold my eulogies, toasts, and motivational essays as a story. And I think it could be really good.

You have no idea how profusely I was sweating as the Jesus-woman-cancer-survivor had to read “mother fucker” and “son of a bitch” out loud to the group.

Perhaps I’ll toil away in anonymity for a while.

OK. I’m off to blog elsewhere. Wish me luck.

 

11/03/2009

Random, Part 9 – Happy Housewives Day.

http://cucharasonica.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/weezer-raditude-aa.jpg

It’s November 3rd, do you know where your voting precinct is? Better yet, do you know where your list of 2009 Resolutions is? Mine is crinkled and covered in coffee stains, and not many of those resolutions were checked off. Some were revised. And some, now, looking back, just seem silly.

But in a way, simply having them written down makes 2009 seem like less of a lost cause because, truth be told, I did make some headway towards the bigger picture stuff. Like this blog. There was some writing. And spunkybean …I definitely wrote some stuff there. And Mel Robbins’s blog. Almost 1oo entries were written in 2009, and guess who wrote them all? Oh, yes …yours truly. So, now if I can just focus a bit more in 2010 (or even the remainder of 2009), I can maybe hone my craft, better target someone who might actually pay me in something other than Starbucks cards, and get one step closer to earning a living as a writer.

But that’s just me, and not why you read this blog. Oh, wait. Yes, “me” is exactly why you read this blog.

No. Not today. Today I turn my blog spotlight outwards and back at you, loyal reader. Today I celebrate the Housewife in honor of National Housewive’s Day. It’s a helluva lotta work to be at home all day with your family, enjoying all their milestones and memorable moments. What one woman calls “home making” or “housewifing”, another man might call “vacation” or “what-he’d rather-be-doing instead-of crunching-numbers-in-a spreadsheet or talking-for-hours-on-the-phone while-viewing-a power-point presentation.”

You say tomato, I say razzle-frazzle-frickin’-burgle-grumble.

Enjoy my love letter to the housewife at spunkybean, won’t you?

And enjoy Weezer’s new video for “(If You’re Wondering If I Want You To) I Want You To”, but you’ll have to click the link because I can’t embed it.

And lastly, here’s a funny person with a funny blog. She’s now in my blogroll (at the right).

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