Don’s Ego

I know a guy writing a book. Let’s say this “book” was going to be an autobiography. And let’s say that this “autobiography” was going to tell a tale of a pretty normalish, average, Midwestern, applie-pie eatin’ and baseball watchin’ kinda guy? And let’s also say the guy writing the autobiography wasn’t really a famous columnist or personality, never fought in a war, never rescued anyone from a burning building, has more debt than he has money in the bank, and mainly was just a collection of kinda interesting essays, toasts, and speeches he’s either (a) given or (b) imagined himself giving to some small audiences?

Would you buy that book? What if you had $5 coupon to the bookstore and you knew the guy who wrote it? What if it was out on paperback? What if the book was part “story” and part “motivational” and part “cookbook?” What if the book had 20 blank, lined pages near the back where you could take notes? What if there were drawings from the author in that book? And what if that book was kinda, sorta like quite a few other books already out there?

How many copies can I advance order you? What? You’re not sold?

Here’s the thing about writing a book. (A) If you are not rich, accomplished, or famous already, it’s fair to wonder why anyone would ever read your book. (B) When I go to a bookstore (or library), there are thousands and thousands of books not sitting in the “best seller” racks or on the “staff favorites” tables and I wonder …”did those poor fools really think anyone would buy their books?” (sometimes guilt overcomes me and I will randomly select a book from a random section and buy it, and then I’ll just wonder what that author will think when he gets his monthly book-sales statement and how happy he’ll be that he won’t be charged back for unsold inventory ..makes me feel like a hero). (C) Should I call my book Jerry Kotter and the Sorcerer’s Stoned so that it gets listed on Amazon in the “people who bought this book also bought” section by the Harry Potter books and the Welcome Back Kotter tell-all books …and books about magic and marijuana? And finally, (D) are these ideas really my own? I live in constant fear that every good idea I’ve ever had is simply me forgetting where I heard that brilliant and original idea in the first place. Like, when I did stand-up, this one time, I wrote a joke about animal pick-up lines, and someone watching my act walked up to me afterwards and said, “not very cool that you took so-and-so’s jokes right off his CD.” I didn’t do it on purpose, but at the time I “wrote” those jokes, I swore they were divinely entering my brain.

So, to any published authors who might read my future book I have yet to finish, publish, promote, or sell, and if you end up reading your exact thoughts and ideas nearly verbatim …I swear …I didn’t steal your ideas on purpose.

And have I blogged about this before? Another challenge I face when writing is that I write in 4 or 5 different places, I don’t catalog my ideas, and its very possible I’ve written the same things over and over again.

Another challenge I face when writing is that I write in 4 or 5 different places, I don’t catalog my ideas, and its very possible I’ve written the same things over and over again.

Get it? Well, at any rate, I’m taking my first two chapters of my book …er …this “guy I know’s” book, to my writing club next week and we’ll see what they think. 

Why can’t my blog embed video using html code? I’m beginning to really hate WordPress. Click the link below for something cool to watch.

Blog and Website Workshop from Wizard Academy on Vimeo.

Luckily, Miley Cyrus’s hit song, “Party in the USA” embeds just fine.