Don’s Ego

07/19/2011

Random: Dogsitting

Filed under: Random — Tags: , , , , , , — donkowalewski @ 5:51 am

And just like that, the dog is gone. My sister and her family returned from their week-long vacation and took the dog, yesterday. Now, all I’m left with is games of fetch with my eight-year-old daughter and, unlike the dog, she’s very sassy and says she doesn’t want to play fetch.

The dog never argued about fetch. The dog also never complained when I got up early at 5 a.m. to write, cook breakfast, and exercise. He curled up under my kitchen table while I plugged away at the laptop and went right back to sleep, but it was nice to have the company. It’s sort of weird how I got used to having that li’l guy around.

Which brings me to my next dilemma. Ahem. I really enjoyed that dog. I mentioned this, but I had a dog before. I had a dog for 7 years, in fact. It was a beagle. That beagle was a nightmare …sort of. And mostly towards the end when the house had diapers everywhere and the needs of a 5-, 3-, and 1-year-old took priority, and out of boredom she’d rummage through the trash, she’d eat diapers, she’d hunt down skunks and get sprayed, and most disgusting of all, she’d eat her own poop in the yard and then come inside and throw up on my carpets.

If I’d spent this past week dealing with that, I wouldn’t miss the dog as much. *sigh* I’m going for a job here, shortly … by …myself.

Wanna know the other thing I screwed up? I broke my oldest daughter’s heart – BIG TIME. On Sunday, after church, the wife needed to hit Kohls for a birthday present. Next door to Kohls is Petco. Often, on Sundays, we’ll hit that Petco because they have pet adoption. Usually it’s just a bunch of angry, too big, Rotweiller or Pitbull mixes that are fun to pet, and we leave only discussing when and if we’ll ever get guinea pigs (note: I’ve promised my oldest 2 guinea pigs for perfect report cards throughout 3rd Grade this next year).

Then, when we were about to leave, Petco carted in 4 cages full of 7-week-old puppies. Eight puppies and, get this, they were Catahoula-Leapord Dog-mixes, which just happens to be the same breed we were dogsitting all week. Did I abruptly grab my children and race out of the store? Oh, no …we hung around and hung around and waited until they could let us hold one …a beautifully colored puppy that sat and shivered in my wife and my daughter’s arms for almost 20-minutes. My wife, who is more dead set against another dog than I am, started joining my daughter in the “I want a dog” rally.

This blog entry is waaaaaay too long. And I’m sorry, but at this point, it’s therapy.

I told myself, if I ever get a dog again, it will be a mutt. The less identifiable the mutt, the better. I had a mutt growing up and mutts are always docile and tend to be smarter, in my opinion. Pure breds are all designed for specific functions (hunting, herding, fighting, protecting) and if you aren’t using a pure bred for their intended purpose, based on my beagle, I think the dog becomes miserable. Mutts have no agenda. So this dog was (a) a mutt, (b) cute, (c) part Catahoula, which is now my gold standard for quality companion and running dog, and (d) cute. Or had I mentioned cute?

Meanwhile, my wife was justifying how it would be different this time. And my sister was texting me that we could handle it now. And my daughter was crying and claiming that her heart was going to explode and her stomach felt sick. And I …walked out and went to Kohls, and I dragged my heartbroken daughter with me.

No dog.

See, I’m selfish. If I have $500 to spend, I don’t want to spend it on a dog, dog food, toys, shots, neutering, leashes, and kennels from time to time. I don’t want to have to add another variable to my life and another dependent (unless I added another human child to my world, that is). Dogsitting for a week was great. I’m a GREAT dogsitter. I hope my sister goes on vacation again soon, actually (so I can dogsit, again). Dogs are cool. I’m just not a dog owner.

The hardest part about all this was breaking my daughter’s heart. As my wife shopped, I walked my sobbing daughter around Kohls and just apologized. I wasn’t going tell her “don’t be sad” and “stop crying” …I did it. I broke her heart. I felt very, very badly about that.

So, that’s that. For the moment, no dog. I miss dogsitting. I miss the dog. But no dog.

Here’s a few more videos we shot and sent to my sister so she and her boys wouldn’t miss their dog so much. Hmmm …will they send me a video? I mean, just a quick one so I can see how the dog is doing? *sniff*. OK …here you go. Have a great dog-free Tuesday.



07/14/2011

Random: Dogsitting

Filed under: Random — donkowalewski @ 8:57 am

All week on Facebook and Twitter I’ve been “microblogging” about my week with a dog. We’re dogsitting. I won’t say who’s dog it is, but this person was an emotional wreck about going on vacation and leaving her dog. It should be noted, I’ve watched her children on several occasions – one time I even watched her children for multiple days.

At one point, I offered to set-up a doggy-cam so she could check-in at any time and see that her pooch was being well cared for, but she declined. Thank goodness …because I really don’t have the equipment to set that up. I figure I’d need at least 8 cameras to cover all areas of the house, and then I’d need a tracking element …I’m just happy she didn’t opt for that.

Instead, I told her, “get a Twitter account which is just like texting, except better.” I told her I’d post pictures and video and give her the full play by play of the week.

Oh, right. Part of her worry MIGHT be because I’ve said countless times, after I had a beagle and then didn’t have a beagle, that “I’m not a dog person” and “I hate dogs” and “no mongrel is going to sleep in my bed, sit on my furniture, or cause me to spend any of my money.” Sooooo, I suppose her worry was a tiny bit justified. And all that rhetoric might’ve just been a defense mechanism, and I might not really hate my ex-dog, but I might hate myself for my inability to train her. In my defense, however, beagles are notoriously difficult to train, and I should’ve researched that before I got that dog …either way. I don’t hate dogs.

This dog I’m dog sitting is, like, a super-awesome dog. Back 7 or 8 years ago when I got my beagle, this is what I pictured dog ownership to be. This dog is never more than 6-feet from me. He doesn’t chew on stuff. He understands English better than most 10-year-old kids. He doesn’t beg. He doesn’t eat out of the trash. When I jog with him, he runs next to me like we’re in the Westminster Dog Show. He’s great with kids. He doesn’t eat off the table the minute you turn your back. When I play fetch, he actually brings the ball to me. He doesn’t howl, rarely barks, and he laughs at all my jokes (that dang beagle never laughed).

They say it’s a catahoula, but it’s not. It’s some sorta catahoula, but mixed with something. I dunno. Be he’s one of a kind, I tells ya.

So, that’s that. We’re dog sitting through Sunday and it’s been great. For my kids, I mean. Me? Nope. It’s just a dog. Might as well be a pig, or bunny, or goldfish. I’m completely indifferent on the dog. No, seriously. I won’t cry when we have to give him back. *If* we give him back.

More updates as the week rolls on.

Follow @donkowalewski on Twitter or hashtag #dogsitting to follow along.

05/02/2011

Random, Part 23: Bin Laden, Beastie Boys, and spunkybean

Filed under: Random — Tags: , — donkowalewski @ 1:25 pm

A lot of people (ok …zero people) ask me, “Don? Other than recaps, what are some benefits of spunkybean?” Simple, really. spunkybean is a great source for recipes and tips on saving time while shopping for your groceries, and we also have an article telling you what’s on TV each week. We call them “View-Do Lists“. Get it? It’s like a “To-Do” list, but for the TV shows we think you should watch, so we put the word “view” in place of “to” because it sorta rhymes and …well, it’s fun. Ah, fun.

“But Don,” people ask. “Can’t I just use my channel guide or the TV section of my newspaper? Or an iPad app?”

No, I say. You need to read our View-Do lists every week to see what the ultimate TV watching nerds are watching. Without our help, you might randomly turn on the Military Channel, or History International, and you’ll assume the special on Biblical Battle Plans Used in World War 1: The Secret Hitler Grandfather Diaries (in HD) …you’ll assume that’s all that’s on.

Wrong …wrong …wrong. Modern Family is on. Every week, dang it. And so is Chuck (yes, still) and this week was Chuck’s bachelor party (hey …hop on the The Hangover bandwagon and do a bachelor party episode …why not?)

All I’m asking is that you Subscribe to spunkybean, or follow @spunkybean on Twitter. And I’m also asking that you stand at your local mall and yell “spunkybean-dot-com” until security kicks you out. I don’t think it’s too much to ask.

Thanks. And here’s The Beastie Boys new video (if it embeds). I bought their new CD yesterday and I talked all about it at spunkybean if you care to read about how I spent my college years and what I think about Gen X.

04/13/2011

Random, Part 22: The Birds

Filed under: Random — Tags: , , , — donkowalewski @ 6:16 am

Spring time is wonderful. Grass turns green, flowers bloom, and birds sing you a morning lullaby. But I have this bird nested within ear shot of my window and he is obviously the tone-deaf bird of the bird world. His “song” is just 3 random chirp blasts …over …and over …again. I’m not a cat person, but I’m entertaining the idea of getting a cat specifically to scare this bird away. Or possibly 100 cats who will eradicate all ornithological life within earshot.

Social Media in 30-minutes a day? Is it possible? The question I’m asked most often is, “how do you find the time?” Truth is, I don’t have the time, but there’s something burning inside me that says, “I enjoy writing, I can write well, I have fun ideas and I have fun sharing them with the world, and writing my blog and hanging around on social media excites me.” I have lots of hobbies and passing fancies (coffee, running and training, bowling, barefoot running) but what gets me out of bed every morning at 5 a.m. (and by the way, there isn’t a more comfortable and inviting bed in all the land than my bed) is writing. Whether its writing for myself on this blog, slowly chipping away at the chapters in my book, or writing blog entries for some of my ghost-writing clientele.

I can’t believe I have “clientele” and can use the word “clientele.” Woo hoo!

The other thing I love is helping my fellow dreamers chase their dreams. Like my friend Lisa who recently embraced the vegan lifestyle (that’s her vegan lasagna pictured top-left). She called and asked how to start a blog and what she should do. I would’ve liked to talk to her all day on this subject because, well, I’m not a vegan, but she is, and she loves how great it makes her feel and is proud she’s managing to be vegan while balancing motherhood, a full-time career, and Sudoku puzzle tournaments (I’m not entirely sure she plays in tournaments, fyi). Point is, it’s her passion and her passion for what she’s doing and the story she wants to tell was contagious. Tell me there aren’t a couple thousand people who wouldn’t also find her story and her energy contagious and would read her blog, leave comments, post some of her recipes on Facebook for their friends to see, and then eventually buy Lisa’s cookbook and t-shirts and then set their DVRs to record Lisa when she appears on The Today Show and tells Kathy Lee and Hoda that living a vegan lifestyle is something anyone can do.

Heck, I’ve managed to turn 500-word blogs about American Idol into a full-blown pop-culture web-site (spunkybean.com …or haven’t you heard?), and I think I have upwards of 10,000 readers each week, and when I go to social gatherings people say things like, “seriously, when are you going to stop acting like a teenage girl.” Oh …they also say nice things and encouraging things and hence …my alarm clock … 5 a.m. ….annd I pounce out of bed to attack the day and my writing.

I think Lisa can do this, too. And I think you can do this.

From awarenessnetworks.com, here’s a video on how you can blog, Tweet, and Facebook for your hobby, your small business, or your passion in 30-minutes each day.

p.s. this blog entry was written in 27-minutes. I’ll now spend less than 10-minutes begging people via Facebook, Twitter, and Tumblr to pretend they like me and boost my ego.

10/15/2010

Random, Part 21: How NOT to Get a Job

Filed under: Random — Tags: , — donkowalewski @ 3:03 pm

I’m really trying to post something every day. And, really trying to make the posts more than, “hey, it’s sunny outside,” and “oh my gosh, I sure could go for an Americano from Starbucks, right now.”

Even though that’s totally entertaining.

But here’s two things. First, a friend of mine is a Sales Manager for a large group of radio stations in a large market. Check out the email he got from a guy interested in selling for the stations. That’s as classic as it gets. So if you find yourself looking for a job and maybe it’s been a while, just remember …this guy is out there competing against you (yes, he sent it from his iPod in what looks like 140-characters or less).

—–Original Message—–
From: Kent [mailto: email withheld]
Sent: Friday, October 15, 2010 12:54
To: Don’s Friend
Subject:

I will love to work for Y100

My name is Kent I am 26 i live Miami I love to work I will give 150%
7862300078

Kent iPod

And, someone sent me this …the Star Wars Trilogy made from paper art. And I dig it.

10/13/2010

Random, Part 20: Posting Videos

Filed under: Random — Tags: , , — donkowalewski @ 1:09 pm

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One might think sharing a video by email or on Facebook would be sufficient, but when a person also has a blog and that person thinks that blog should have stuff posted on it, then the same video also gets blogged. This past weekend, Michigan State defeated the University of Michigan for an unprecedented third straight year, and there was much rejoicing.

Being awesome like I am, I was actually up on Michigan State’s campus (the game was on the University of Michigan’s campus) preparing to run a triathlon on Sunday with the MSU Triathlon Team. I watched the game inside a winnebago in the shadow of Spartan Stadium – and loved every minute of it. Later that evening, through the power of Twitter and Facebook, I was alerted that the triumphant MSU team buses were nearly back from Ann Arbor, and I sauntered on over to the Duffy Daugherty Football building and welcomed them home.  It was great …and here is that footage.

Oh …yawn …yes, the next day I ran a triathlon. I’ll blog about that shortly. It was quite a morning and quite a race, the highlights of which included a mad scramble for a rear bike tire, and running with a shard of glass in my foot. Oh, yes …and just wait until I embellish the story – it’ll be great.

So, first …my video welcoming home the team. And second, an awesome “in your face” video by Brianna Gardner.

09/01/2010

Random, Part 19: A Really Bad Day

Filed under: Random — Tags: — donkowalewski @ 6:38 am

If I’m not careful, I’m going to become one of these anti-something people who is the person at parties you do not want to get caught talking to. Like those “carbohydrates are bad” people. Or the “I don’t eat anything with high-fructose corn-syrup” people. We get it. You’re going to be skinny …soon. Got it. Thanks.

Oh. Wait. I was “those people.” OK. I’m over that (but still I try to avoid “bad carbs” and processed or chemically enhanced foods …remind me to tell you about this book and article I read next time we talk …I’ll bring a noose). Next up on my “boring conversation” agenda will be “caffeine is bad.” I’ve been trying to cut back (as regular readers know). I used to drink 8 cups a day. Mainly, because it allowed me to leave my office and walk around. I didn’t really want the coffee. Then I read an article that 8 cups of coffee per day is bad, and affects your attention span, your heart rate, and your sleep. And “sleep”, it seems, is very important. So if a person has way too much caffeine all day, they have restless sleep, and lack of sleep affects weight-loss and your attention span, and weight loss …and your attention span.

In the past few months, I cut way back. 36 ounces in the morning, and a single 10 ounce cup at 3pm. But then yesterday, I made myself my typical 36 ounces, and then a coworker brought me a Columbian from Beyond Juice (which is made with caffeine), and then another co-worker, as a “thank-you” for something, brought me a Grande Americano from Starbucks. I don’t want to try and figure out how much caffeine I ingested between 5:30am and 10am, but I’m guessing it could power some small villages in remote areas of the world. Then, on top of that, my lovely wife and children stopped by my office and brought me a huge jar of cheese puffs, which I consumed by the handful, and washed down with my standard 3pm coffee. Oh, and did I forget to mention I met a friend at Biggby Birmingham around lunchtime and my lunch consisted of another cup of coffee.

Where is this going? Let’s just say, I was irritable. All day. At everything. Things that don’t usually stress me out (like the air moving out of the vent in my office) were making me want to punch a wall. But things got worse. Once I got home from work, in the short time after dinner I just get to “hang” with my 7, 6, and 4 year old, we turned a game of Animal Rummy into a lesson in Uno 3-card-monte.

Now, that is some quality parenting. Caffeine induced lessons on conning people out of money. The only positive that came of it was, my son, who really likes to figure things out (like puzzles, video games, reading, the Rubics Cube, and now “slight of hand”) understood the “trick” right away and he really was working to perfect it. In a weird way, I was proud. But maybe that was the caffeine.

Look for my son and I on a street corner near you, soon.

08/25/2010

Random, Part 18: Something to Blog

Filed under: Random — donkowalewski @ 10:44 pm

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More than a few days have passed since I blogged, and I actually have something to blog about. I have this clever little story about Jesus and youth sports. Its funny, and I know it. You’ll read it in a future blog entry. But in the interest of having content, look at my friend Katie. She sang at our wedding. Yup. That’s right. Only the best things in life for me.

I think she wants to get 75,000+ hits on this thing, and if I can depend on you, my loyal readers, to help out, she can get 7 to 10 more hits on this thing.

Phew. That’s enough charity for one lifetime. I feel very philanthropic. Streets should be named after me. OK. Enough about me …watch this.

08/10/2010

Random, Part 17: Another Way to Die

Filed under: Random — Tags: , , — donkowalewski @ 8:53 am

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I just gotta share the new Disturbed video for their song “Another Way to Die.” After all, Don’s Ego is the blog where  Disturbed fans go for the latest info.

Announcement: I’m now retiring from my post as “Disturbed Insider”. It’s been a great run, but I just can’t keep up this frantic pace.

On the elevator in my building, moments ago, I saw a sorta cute girl in her late-20s (estimating that, I did not pick her pocket or ask her age) walking with a single crutch and telling her co-worker about it. Her story ended with “and so he clipped my back wheel and I went skidding sideways and his four-wheeler flipped and landed on top of me.” Holy shit! And she’s only walking with one crutch? I don’t know what I feel right now …either she’s more attractive or less attractive. I can’t decide. On the one hand, she’s a total badass for four-wheeling, yet on the other hand, she’s kinda intimidating because she so casually discussed being crushed by a four-wheeler. Like, she’s adventurous and cool, but at the same time would laugh at me for being a Nancy-boy.

Not that I’m looking to date. Just trying to figure out which of my friends I’d pair her up with.

Hmmm. Turns out that wasn’t as funny or interesting as I had thought. So, on with the show …can’t wait for Disturbed’s CD to come out August 31st (oh …and parents, please send the kids outta the room when watching this …there’s some “disturbing” imagery).

My favorite part? Near the end where the “perfect family” jumps all smiley into their beautiful swimming pool oblivious to the horrors in the world. Pretty much …that’s me. I’m not a good person. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go flush this old paint down the sink drain.

07/12/2010

Random, Part 15: Moving on from “I Love Don Week”

Filed under: Random — donkowalewski @ 6:45 am

I know. It’s not pretty when this blog becomes a week-long blog about Don, Don’s birthday, Don’s gift registry, and so forth. I don’t write that stuff for my health. My fans demand it. And before I forget – thank you. The 36th Annual “I Love Don Week” was the best, yet. Many thought the constant hum of vuvuzelas that followed me around all week were a bit much. Those people were just jealous they didn’t have a vuvuzela of their own.

Well, the confetti had been thrown, the noise makers and streamers have fallen, and “I Love Don Week” is officially over and now this blog can go back to being what it was …a blog about nothing except what Don thinks is a funny observation. Many have asked, actually …why do you blog, Don? An interesting question.

This blog is like a pre-race stretch. It’s a waiting room before you see your doctor. It’s a doodle-pad where I draw mustaches on everything. It’s free of proofreading, linking, or any effort to attract readers (mission: accomplished). It’s a blog I write for the fun of it. I think I have a half-dozen readers (or maybe a dozen when I trick a Facebook friend or two into clicking over here).  When this blog is cookin’ along with fresh new content, chances are the rest of my writing efforts on the interweb are, too.

So when people click over here and say, “geez, that Don-guy is such an egomaniac and that blog is all about him,” I would reply with, “yes …yes it is.” But like an appetizer at a restaurant (appetizer = a bit of food a person eats before they eat more, better tasting and larger volumes food), this blog “sets the table” as it were for better, more thoughtful (and lengthier) writing.

(Oh, that reminds me …the “LeBron James Saga and Press Conference” can officially be added to the list of things that make other countries hate America, along with ’1,000 calorie appetizers at restaurants that serve 2,000 calorie entrees’ and ‘that-show-where- personal-belongings are-plunged off-the-top of a building- as-punishment for-missing-a-trivia -question).

It also allows me to share some awesome things like this:

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